Baby Boomer Dating Blog

Boomers face different issues than younger generations when it comes to online dating.  We may have grown children, grand children and aging parents.  These can have an effect on how you view online dating and how you connect with possible mates.

I don’t think you necessarily have to find a mate that matches your family dynamics, but it is something you need to think about.

Let’s look at some scenarios:

1. You have grown children and grand children that live near you.  This would mean that in all likelihood they would visit, possibly often.  So you would probably want to look for a man/woman who also has children and grand children as they would be more comfortable with the ‘visits’.  Now that is not to say a man/woman who does not have children wouldn’t be.  But if you did contact a man/woman who did not have children you would want to tell them about your family dynamics.  You would also, most likely, want to date someone in your own area.

2. You have grown children and grand children that don’t live near you.  So looking for a man/woman who also has children and grand children may not be an issue. Yes you and your new love may visit them, but on a day to day basis it would not be an issue.  You could look for a man/woman who did or did not have children.  You would just need to be open about your family dynamics so it would come as a shock when you want to visit them.  You could date someone local, another city or another country.

3. You don’t have children and may not want the ‘limitations’ of dating someone who has children / grand children.  For example you may want to travel extensively in your retirement.  You may want to only connect with men/women who don’t have children as well. That is not to say a man/woman with children or grand children couldn’t travel, but there certainly would be more to consider. You could date someone local, in another city, or another country.

4. You are a woman, or man, who didn’t have children but actually would love the family dynamics of children and grand children. When you connect with someone through online dating you just need to be open about that desire so the person you connect with feels confident that their family will not become an issue.

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Jan

I read an article in the New York Times about Baby Boomer women and having long hair.  It was about how women were brought up to believe that when they hit a certain age they should cut their hair. How having long gray hair was simply not acceptable.
 
As a Baby Boomer with long hair it made me start to think about all sorts of issues Baby Boomers face when online dating and when online dating goes off line.

Baby Boomers don’t face the same issues as younger online daters.  We are not looking at profiles wondering if – would she be a good candidate for creating a family – would he be a good father, for example.

Baby Boomers are looking more for compatibility, common interests, a sense of humour, etc.

So let’s look at what Baby Boomers may face:
 
So my first example is a woman with long gray hair.  Should she worry about it?  Should she cut her hair thinking she may appear more attractive to men? I say no, unless it is something you want to do for you.

Should you think of having some work done to get rid of some of those wrinkles?  Only if you feel that will make YOU feel better. 
 
Other issues that may face Baby Boomers when they meet someone through online dating.

What do you disclose when online dating?
 
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We know that you have to take certain security precautions when you are online dating.  We also know that there are security precautions you need to take when you first meet your online dating connection in person.  What I want to talk about now is a different security precaution you need to take.

A few weeks ago I read an article about a study they wanted to do based on the fact that Baby Boomers are more likely to pick up an STD through dating with someone they met through an online dating site.  This article went on to say that with this age group they are more likely not to take precautions – and – they are more likely to quickly indulge in a physical relationship then they would it they had not met through an online dating site.

I, personally, did not agree that online dating had anything to do with it.  I also did not agree that Baby Boomers are less likely to protect themselves because they are passed child bearing age.

But I did think it was a good thing to talk about here because I am a big believer in security, all security when it comes to online dating (online and off).

When you meet someone through online dating you do get to know them better, share more information, than you would someone you are just dating.  This is because you spend a lot of time sending messages back and forth, talking on the phone and possibly even sharing videos.  By the time you arrange to meet you probably have spent more time getting to know each other than you would if you had dated for a year (or more).  That is my personal experience.

When you do meet for the first time security precautions need to be taken like, meeting in a public place, let people know where you are going and when you will be back, take your cell phone, etc.

Now what if you really hit it off and feel comfortable enough to go back your/their home and want to be intimate.  Certainly there is nothing wrong with that, but you still need to think security (besides the obvious security issues).

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I know what it is like to feel that you are passed the point of finding love. After my marriage ended I did not date for almost 10 years. That was my choice. I decided I had to take the time to know who I wasand what I wanted before I could ‘put myself out there’ again.

When I first thought of trying online dating I looked at some of the online dating sites and thought who would be interested in someone my age! When you go to some online dating sites you may see pictures of young good looking women and men and that can put you off. How can you compete right?

Well don’t pay attention to that. Online dating sites that don’t specifically direct their ‘marketing’ to Baby Boomers are going to have those photos on the site. What you need to check is what age range they cover. From my experience they cover us as well. And with most of these sites free to try you can go in and check out if there is a good balance of potential partners in the age range you are looking for.

If you are not comfortable with sites that cover a broad range of age then just try out the ones that are for Baby Boomers.

Don’t let your age stop you. If I had I wouldn’t be with my wonderful partner. I want the same for you!

If you feel you are too old to start all over in the dating game you’re not. I took that leap of faith and met my love online. Our 8th wedding anniversary is this year!

As more of us baby boomers head towards retirement, with no love partner, getting out there and doing something  to finding a love online can be positive, empowering and fullfillin for us.

There is no need to face retirement alone, whether a male for female baby boomer.  But if you are, you can use your retiment time searching for love at an online dating site.

Don’t sit around at home, alone, wishing you had a love in your lifte, when you could be online finding the love of your life on a online dating website meeting all kinds of people just like you.

There many great Baby Boomer online dating sites where you will find people who share your experiences.

Click here to check many online dating sites out.

Jan

Valentine’s Day is coming and if you do not have anyone to be with (which all the ads say you should have) you still don’t have to be alone. You may think “who cares”, but we all know it is a hard time to be alone – right!

Have you tried to reach out to find someone at an online dating site? Now is a great time because Valentine’s Day is a l’ove day’ – no one wants to be alone,  so more people are going to be looking and trying to connect.  It’s a good time to make that leap if you haven’t tried it yet.

So don’t sit alone and think that just because you have not found that perfect someone yet, online or off, that you should give up. Give online dating a try.

If you do find a potential love connection… isn’t Valentine’s Day a great time to do it!

Check out our listing of online dating sites here: http://www.babyboomerdatingsite.com/

Its well known this time of year can be especially lonely for singles. For those younger its often kind of,  ‘oh well, that’s okay, I still have all my friends to hang with’. But for our age group it can be much more complex and often the circumstances are sadder. The holiday season can really ‘rub it in’. I know I used to dread this time of year before I met the love of my life at an online dating site.

Perhaps that’s what brought you to our site at this time. You’ve had enough of being alone and want to find someone to be with. As the expression goes, “there is no time like the present”. No need to wait for the new year, next week or even tomorrow. Now is the time. Take a chance. Get out there and date again.

And while I’m lathering on the cliches, I must not forget one of my favorites… “Life is too short” for hanging around lonely when there’s a world of wonderful people waiting to meet you. You may have to ‘kiss a few toads’ (or coyotes) to meet your prince or princess, but that’s part of the adventure… Just keep your lip balm handy and move on the next. Actually, one of the things I’ve always thought was great about meeting people online is you can ease into a relationship and get to know someone before meeting in person. Keeps the lip balm expenditure to a minimum.

Some newly single baby boomers (usually men – but us Cougars are appearing!) seem to want to date people who are years, or even decades younger.

One reason, it seems, is that it makes them feel “young”. In the female case, the young men are about at the same sexual level as they are. But, if you really think about it, what does the other (much younger) person really see in you? Could it be stability, statis, money?

Are you looking for “arm candy” or ‘fun in the sack’?

Hey no problem with that. You are likely to have a good time but not a long time.

Just make sure that you are not mixing your desires for a long term relationship.

So when decide what online dating site to register with (and yes, you can register with more than one) just keep in mind what you really want to find in a love relationship.

Online dating is very similar, yet so much better, than meeting someone in person in many ways.

When you meet someone in person, for the first time, 9 times out of 10 you will judge them by the way they look. Hair, face, eyes, clothes, voice, etc. In fact, so many ‘in person’ meetings go side-ways because of the initial impression (ah yes…first impression). When you meet someone online, what you read, and see, is in fact your first impression.  But so different than the first meeting off line. Why?  Because through online dating you take the time to get to know who the person is ‘inside’, the outside really becomes secondary in so many ways.

Let’s look at some basics.

Most of us are judged, or we judge,  what we first see, in first meetings, whether it is work or personal.

Some folks are lucky, in the ‘physical’ sense, with long blonde hair and blue eyes – or –  6’2″ and a great build. But in fact, we are really ’us’ underneath.  The outward part is really now ’who we really are’.  On the surface, we are just this physical that God gave us. Some lucky, some not.  And as us Baby Boomers age the outward is not as great as it use to be -right?  But the ‘inner’ has grown and so much better.

So if you are saying there are “losers” out there, yah maybe, but try to look past the physical.

If someone messages you who is 350lbs and bald, but you were looking for somone who is  200lbs and with curly greying hair, don’t ignore the contact.  That person may have the heart and soul that would love you forever and give you everything in life.

My point here, and jump up and down on me if you think I am wrong, is that I do not believe we should judge anyone by their ‘cover’. Who they/we are “inside” is so much more important than who they/we are “outside”. 

If you do not find the person physically attractive, no chemistry, then yes it probably won’t work, of course.  But when you are on an Online Dating membership site at least you can learn about someone from the inside out. Chances are you will love the inside and learn to love the outside with the imperfections aging brings.

I happily advise you to take that step, I did and we have been married for over 7 years now (yes I am a Baby Boomer).

Check out our site here:

http://www.babyboomerdatingsite.com/

People that are in the 50 plus age range will probably not be as comfortable with the computer and online contact as the younger generation. That’s just normal.

For any age, but especially the Baby Boomer group, it is so wonderful to be able to reach out and find friends and potential love matches. A good number of people in the group are starting over after a divorce or death of a partner. Many may feel that they don’t have another chance at love. Not so!! You have equal opportunity, if not more, because of life experience and being more open to the little flaws here and there that the path of life has brought us.

Wouldn’t it be great if you and your child/parent/grandparent found love at the same time? Hey maybe you could have a double wedding!!

Yes you can find love online – trust me, I did!